In retrospect

I’ve spent much of my yesterday looking at photos and videos from 2016. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years.

There’s been a lot of posts going around looking back on 2016. Some people are fully participating, while some are convinced it’s yet another trend that doesn’t need to be paid attention to or worse, a possible ploy to train facial recognition. Whatever your stand might be, I think introspection in general is a healthy practice and the way by which we go about it is all up to us.

I’ve always been a lover of introspection. What was I doing a year ago? What was I up to five years ago? My goodness, has it really been 10 years since I last did all those things?

We’re no stranger to the fact that the world is now moving at such a fast pace that you blink and it’s been that long. It is imperative, now more than ever, to look back and remember where we’ve been, what our struggles were, who we were, and where we are now. I think it’s a great indicator of the trajectory of our lives, an inspiration to go back to the activities we used to love that we may have forgotten, or an encouragement to keep going and that we’re actually doing a good job. We get so caught up in our challenges now that we lose sight of the fact that even if we think we’re not moving, we actually are. And that is meant to be celebrated. That’s meant to make you look back and be proud of yourselves.

I’ve spent much of my yesterday looking at photos and videos from that year. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years. I can’t believe how happy I looked in photos, how I completely looked free. I’ve always loved the ocean and in 2016, if I wasn’t spending time with family and friends, and doing art, I was fully immersed in the sea. I was a full fledged water baby. I should do more of that this year.

It’s not even just about the celebrations. 2016 was a pivotal year for me. This was the year when I started finding myself and learning what I’m capable of. This was also the year I came to know true grief.

In 2016, my brother died. I didn’t realise it at that time but it was the beginning of my coming to terms with how at a certain time in your life, grief stays. It doesn’t go away, rather it keeps getting bigger, and in that space, you learn to navigate it, to live with it. And that’s something I need to remember.

That specific grief propelled me to the world I’m living in now. It made me realise how life is short and if I’m not trying my best to make my dreams come true and do things I absolutely love, when else will I be able to do them? That grief pushed me to finally and truly live.

So sure, this whole 2016 thing is becoming a trend now but I’d like to think that the person who first thought of it just wanted to really look back, 10 years ago, to see how far they’ve come. That conscious intention, to me, will never be a trend. It’s a habit I’d like to keep doing for years to come.